Qabāth Teaches us Etiquette for the Prophet صلى الله عليه و سلم

Qabāth bin ʾAshyam ʾal-Kinānī (may Allāh be pleased with him) was a Companion of Allāh’s Messenger (صلى الله عليه و سلم). The Mustadrak of ʾal-Ḥākim records the following touching incident that I would like to share which teaches us about care in our choice of words and tone when we address Allāh’s Messenger (صلى الله عليه و سلم).

ʿAbdul Malik bin Marwān asked, “O Qabāth, are you older or Allāh’s Messenger (صلى الله عليه و سلم)?
Qabāth was in fact the older of the two, but he felt sensitive to directly reply in the same wording as ʿAbdul Malik (ʾakbar), for ʾakbar can not only mean “older” but has several other meanings such as “bigger” and “greater”. Context is essential during interpretation, and had he used the same word, nobody would have blinked. It would have been  clearly understood if he had said that he was ʾakbar to Allāh’s Messenger (صلى الله عليه و سلم), that he meant that he was simply older in terms of years. He was the born before him. Yet the Companions would not tolerate the slightest insinuation of a shadow of disrespect towards Allāh’s Messenger (صلى الله عليه و سلم). Qabāth’s reply is so touching, if only we have the hearts to perceive.

Qabāth (may Allāh be pleased with him) replied,

بل رسول الله صلى الله عليه و على آله و سلم أكبر مني و انا أسن منه
“Rather [I say that] Allāh’s Messenger (صلى الله عليه و سلم) is greater (ʾakbar) than me.

I merely have some years more than him (ʾasann).”

Encyclopaedias of knowledge, including Ḥadith, have little value if we do not know how to address Allāh’s Messenger (صلى الله عليه و سلم) with respect. Qabāth teaches us that it is not enough to utter cold clinical facts, however true,  but the tone and choice of words we employ are essential for the true lover. It distinguishes us from those with dead hearts.

May Allāh guide us all.

سليمان الكندي
@sulayman_kindi